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Monday, March 27, 2023

An Exercise in Frustration!

 An Exercise in Frustration! Link

Two anthropomorphic people in their early-twenties embark on a trip to Arizona when their plans to go gambling in Vegas derail after one gets a nasty surprise.

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The two main characters in this story (Aleks & Chloe, described below) are the two most condescending know-it-alls in your life who, in order to have a purpose beyond watching TV and being an all-around pain-in-the-ass, have to chase thrills and cheat Death himself. Between a borderline-psychopath and a behaviorist (pick who you want those labels to go to- it doesn't matter), they were going to see exactly what $500 and ₽30 could get in Vegas with nothing but their skill and a week's worth of supplies in the back of an old Plymouth Reliant wagon. Chloe's seeking nature led her to a cult that turned out to be a subversive group of people in Arizona.

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This is not my first version of Александр Иванович Буряков (romanized to «Aleksandr "Aleks" Ivanovič Buryakov»), but he was a fun character to develop, nonetheless. Rivaling Greg House (House M.D.) and Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon) in both brains and sheer laziness and annoyance, he was originally of German descent and could speak some of the language (mostly to translate a manual). Going through four name changes (Seth → Alex → Саша/Sasha → Алексь/Aleks'), he's had a lot of development. He often uses his "Soviet Heritage" as an excuse for some "inappropriate behavior", although this goes to no avail. He has my birthday, as well as some physical characteristics of mine, as he was originally based off of me- I'm not a narcissist. Put simply, he's the one that cops are afraid to pull over or investigate whatever is coming from his house for one reason: that would mean getting within a kilometer of the crazy idiot. Getting in the car with him is definitely a gamble, especially when a semi-truck is involved, although it's something to be expected of a guy whose urine is probably what's running through the engine and also has a tattoo of a hoof on the bottom of his hoof.

God knows the vodka companies would hate to lose him as a customer.

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Chloe Brown originally started off life as a non-pony version of a My Little Pony character - remember my methods: question everything - that fit well with Alex, a compliment, if you will. Both were poor, hacked too much for their own good, and gambled everything and everywhere from Hell to Houston. She quickly turned into her own character, (or as she puts it, "I'm Aleks… if he had a pair of B-and-a-halves, spoke German instead of Russian, and knew when to shut up."). She shares most of her traits with him, sans his boots and height, though (now) coming from a wealthy family and staying with her sexist uncle. She can be just as condescending, just as much of a wise-ass, and equally inappropriate as he can… she just doesn't drink often. Despite how close they are to each other, they'd make a rock look like it was sexually promiscuous. Any sentence she says involving Aleks and romance is usually along the lines of «We shared a bed in the insert place here. It was a magical night… his wing didn't slice me open when we were trying to sleep. As a last tidbit, she sums up irony with the phrase "Between the two of us, I'm the one who went to business school, I'm the one who has the diploma, I'm the Valedictorian, but the Soviet jackass is the one who's had his under-the-table racket since middle school.".

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